
The “Dinner Party Jerk” test offers a solution to a common challenge: early-stage startups frequently find it difficult to effectively pitch their teams. For the newest companies, a strong team pitch is paramount for raising capital, aligning with the typical funding stages:
- Pre-seed: Bet on the team
- Seed: Bet on the product
- Series A: Bet on the traction
- Series B: Bet on the revenue
- Series C: Bet on the unit economics
To assess the effectiveness of a team pitch, consider a thought experiment: describe the team at a dinner party. If the pitch is sufficiently assertive, a naturally kind individual would likely feel a flush of embarrassment. This discomfort arises because a proper pitch includes extensive credentials, achievements, and unique qualities of the team—elements rarely discussed in social settings. Yet, this assertive communication is precisely what is required when engaging with investors, partners, customers, and prospective employees.
An observation from Nordic founders visiting Silicon Valley highlighted this difference. Their key takeaway was the need to adopt an “American” pitching style, characterized by greater self-promotion, a focus on future potential rather than past accomplishments, emphasizing what a venture could become, and highlighting even minor proof points. This style involves describing usage and telling compelling stories, not just presenting revenue figures, a stark contrast to the preferences of investors in their home countries.
Don’t Hold Back
Embrace the role of the “dinner party jerk” by pitching assertively. Shyness and excessive cordiality are detrimental. Many founders tend to focus almost exclusively on their idea, often neglecting to highlight the team, market, differentiation, or other crucial aspects. Achievements are frequently downplayed or omitted entirely.
The emphasis of a pitch often depends on a founder’s background. Beyond the distinction between repeat and first-time founders, there’s the axis of obvious versus non-obvious credentialing. For instance, a first-time founder launching a gaming company who has years of experience at a top industry firm would benefit from quickly mentioning this in their elevator pitch. However, for an uncredentialed first-time founder, the question becomes: what is the “earned secret” behind the idea? A concise story, such as having been a Shopify seller that inspired the creation of an e-commerce product, can be incredibly valuable. Furthermore, presenting non-obvious metrics or market observations demonstrates expertise. Any professional, academic, or open-source achievements, even if not directly related, might be worth incorporating.
Another uncomfortable but effective strategy is to use specific facts and figures to describe oneself. If previous work involved an app serving millions, or if a current company recently launched and acquired 10,000 users, these numbers should be shared. Any traction or validation significantly strengthens the case, again, potentially leading to that “dinner party jerk” feeling.
The Dangers of Conformity
One might wonder why individuals tend to downplay achievements rather than amplify them. The answer often lies in conformity. In everyday life, people subconsciously align with those around them. There’s a fear that openly boasting about accomplishments or future greatness at a friendly gathering might exaggerate differences and lead to social discomfort. Evolutionary psychology suggests shyness could be an evolved trait, a mechanism for safety within small tribal communities where missteps could have lasting consequences. This theory also helps explain reluctance to engage on social media and share knowledge, despite its potential professional benefits. Ultimately, there’s a distinct “pitch mode” and “dinner party mode”; learning to activate the former is essential.
Be an Optimist
Founders must maintain an optimistic outlook regarding their product, startup, and personal capabilities. When pitching to investors, prospective employees, or partners, it is crucial to discuss future possibilities rather than solely focusing on current activities. This approach embodies a futuristic perspective rooted in optimism:
- Emphasize the future, not the past.
- Focus on what the venture could be, not just what it is.
- Highlight even small proof points.
- Discuss the significant outcomes that could materialize if successful.
- Prioritize upside potential over risks.
- Show signs of customer enthusiasm rather not just revenue metrics.
- Stress the team’s grit and unique knowledge over formal credentials and work experience.
- Present a compelling narrative about the world’s evolving trajectory.
- Explain how a current “wedge” strategy leads to a vast ultimate market.
International founders often refer to this as the “American” pitching style. However, it is more accurately described as specific to the Bay Area tech ecosystem. This highly optimistic and futuristic approach is not only adopted by founders in their pitches but also embraced by those who hear them.
Why This Is the Only Way to Pitch
This assertive and futuristic pitching style is the most logical way to persuade others to join a venture.
1. Investors
Startup investments inherently carry high risk, and the nature of venture math dictates that successful ventures must achieve substantial scale. Typically, out of a portfolio of ten companies, roughly half may fail, three might yield modest returns, and one or two must deliver 10x or greater returns to make the fund viable. Professional venture investors, therefore, seek to identify companies with the potential to be those top performers, or at least those with the ambition to strive for it. While market analysis and financial figures are important, the underlying question often concerns the founder’s ambition: Is there a desire to create one of the industry’s leading companies?
A focus on the future and upside potential signals this “will to power.” If a founder prioritizes early profitability over growth, or maintaining a small market share instead of expanding the market as broadly as possible, this sends a distinct message. The goal is not to mislead but to clearly articulate grand aspirations if they exist. This perspective is often evident in investor slide decks. Does a product slide detail current features, or does it outline a future roadmap? Do user projections or financial forecasts merely show past performance, or do they narrate an impending inflection point for the business? Founders who are overly conservative in their storytelling make it difficult for investors to grasp their long-term vision. Conversely, a compelling “big story” is highly valued, even if investors will naturally apply their own discounts and assumptions.
2. Employees
When hiring the first few employees, founders might offer significant equity. However, as the team grows, new hires often need to be convinced to work for below-market pay and a tiny fraction of the company. Why would individuals choose this over starting their own venture or securing a comfortable, higher-paying role elsewhere? Startups offer an asymmetric advantage: they are adventurous and engaging. While failure is a possibility, the work is typically far more interesting. Junior employees often gain responsibility and scope far beyond what would be available in larger, more established companies.
Naturally, there is also financial upside. To attract high-quality talent, founders must cultivate a sense of adventure. What could be more adventurous than pursuing a massive, challenging goal that, if successful, promises extraordinary results? Founders must weave a compelling narrative—perhaps a “David and Goliath” story, or one of exploring uncharted territory. Without such stories, inspiring others to follow becomes difficult. Therefore, an ambitious, futuristic narrative, full of potential surprises and upside, and acknowledging the possibility of failure, is crucial. It imbues the work with meaning and makes the potential economic rewards worthwhile.
3. Journalists, Partners, and Self-Motivation
Beyond investors and employees, many other stakeholders benefit from a futuristic outlook. Journalists and pundits encounter thousands of companies annually; a compelling, optimistic, and futuristic perspective helps a startup stand out. Similarly, at conferences, an engaging narrative can capture the attention of attendees amidst numerous other events. This optimistic viewpoint provides a framework for telling the story of the problem being solved and the future importance of the startup.
Some environments may be characterized by cynicism, where individuals focus on reasons for failure, emphasize minimizing risks, or demand acknowledgment of potential problems to grant credibility. If one’s industry or social network operates this way, seeking out those who share optimism and a belief in a positive future is advisable. This cultural alignment is a significant factor in the success of ecosystems like the Bay Area, which offers not just knowledge and capital, but a supportive culture.
Finally, an optimistic approach benefits the founder personally. Discussing one’s work in an optimistic way helps create personal meaning. For those inspired by figures like Steve Jobs, the goal is often to “put a dent in the universe,” not merely to pursue financial gain. Focusing on the future and the potential impact of one’s creations provides meaning during challenging times. Without a guiding “Northstar” on the inevitably difficult entrepreneurial journey, one risks becoming lost, making the appeal of a stable, established job much stronger.
Don’t Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
While the pitch demands a futuristic and optimistic stance, it is equally important to simultaneously maintain a clear understanding of current realities. Perhaps product-market fit has not yet been achieved, or the marketing strategy is still developing. Unit economics might not yet be viable, or the team may have significant gaps. For a new startup, it is likely that challenges are constant, and the threat of team members leaving might loom. These challenges must be addressed with a clear mind, all while sustaining the futuristic spirit that inspires others to join the journey.

